Early school lessons.....we are so conditioned to think of them as a blessing. In  teaching the 13th Grand Secret of Spiritual Mysteries, Giving and Receiving, the ever brilliant Lady Master Natasha opened a new "Oh My Gosh" Can of Worms for all who ever went to elementary school. The revelation that what we believe about "Giving and Receiving" came from early childhood elementary school tutelage seemed as benign as the book, All I Really Need to Know in Life I Learned in Kindergarten.

However, the horror of how my life has been completely designed by my elementary school years poured into my awareness this morning like a rushing burst of ice cold water. What I learned in elementary school was TO WAIT!

My last name began with "W", so I was always at the end of the line:

• let others go first (Maybe the unknown is dangerous, and they will make it safe?)
  
• let others eat first (I always served my family their food and ate last.)
  
• be patient, your turn will come (...unless they run out of food by the time I get into the serving line)
  

Actually, however, it was more than just 'wait your turn'; more than learning politeness. It was learning that I needed to be last: the last to choose, the last to graduate, the last in the row.

I have internally adopted completely this elementary "truth":

• I wait to get my questions answered.
  
• I wait for my husband to come home or get ready to leave when we are going somewhere.
  
• I wait to start a new exercise program.
  
• I wait for my friends to call or come see me.
  
• I let others get in front of me on the freeway and in the grocery store lines.
  
• I wait for people to discover my talents and how I can help them. (No advertising allowed.....that would shorten the waiting!)
  
• I wait to play or have fun (maybe tomorrow or 'later on')
  
• I wait to be recognized or to succeed or to be called upon to help someone.
  
• I wait to help myself (after a suitable amount of waiting, I can schedule a massage, for example)
  
• I even imagine I will be the last to leave the movie theater if it catches on fire, or the last to be lifted off earth during an Apocalypse (you get the picture...no cutting to the first of the line....I belong at the back, unseen....after all, all eyes are forward)
  

It is such a natural part of my persona I did not even recognize I did it. It's 'how life is'. It's 'what you do". But really, it's what came from having a last name that started with 'W' and being programmed year after year from ages 5-10 to WAIT.

So what has that done for me besides teach me patience? Has it made me a nicer person? I suppose those who were trained to go first would say, "Yes."; those who were trained to think would question why I wait so much; and those who were in the middle-so-to-speak might have no opinion at all ---- they were surrounded by a sea of others all in 'the same boat'.

 It's been well over  50 years since I left elementary school behind. I think today I will graduate. I've waited long enough.

Have you ever planned something important to you, only to find out too late that others involved in the planning had different ideas than yours and were not really on ‘the same page’?  That your definition of the ‘thing planned’ was not the same as the other person’s? A pretty crucial mistake if you are building a house, planning a marriage, taking an epic journey, or even just planning a special meal.

While earnestly taking on anew my Christ Consciousness journey, I realized I did not know exactly what it meant to BE Christ Consciousness. I fully understand the need to ‘claim it’ so that the desire is formed and released to be manifested. What had me stumped was the actual meaning of the ‘live like a Christ’ part. Not that I didn’t have plenty of my own ideas, and a multitude of sources to peruse, but where were the clear instructions that said, “This is what living like Christ Consciousness entails”?

Of course there are innumerable sources that list what ‘someone else’ says it is: religions, spirituality websites, spiritual development courses, mediums channeling “The Whole Truth” and blogs, videos, and movies galore. But as the term “Christ Consciousness” is used so frequently among those on the Ascension Journey, I thought some clarification for myself would be useful.

Take the word ‘love’, for example. It can be a noun (Love is wonderful), a verb (I love you), or the most masterful aspect---a state of being, which is vibrational and connects with the harmony of the inner Heartsong. It is decidedly a multi-faceted word that is more commonly associated with holidays like Valentine’s Day and events like marriage than with a lifestyle.
While contemplating what a valid Christ Consciousness template might be, I had a flashback to 4th grade, when I vehemently declared to myself, “I will never get married nor have children.” (Both of which I have done, by the way.) WHY would a 4th grader make such a strong decision? Based on what? Both my family life and school life back then were just fine. So where did that idea come from?

Sunday School….where I was taught The Life of Jesus, who---according to the teachings at that time---never married or had children.

Therefore, if we were supposed to strive to ‘be like Jesus’, then I should not imagine marriage (which I NEVER pined for) or having kids (NEVER dreamed of being pregnant). I preferred my Barbie Doll to be single, never played “house” as the mother or wife, and never was much interested in dating during high school, as I was very busy living the Jesus Journey of life that I thought I was supposed to follow. Be nice; be kind; be good; become smart; help others; feed everyone but yourself,  hang out with the people at the bottom of the social ladder; and above all don’t get married or have kids.

THE DAWNING OF THE LIGHT……

If I had those kinds of limitations within my subconscious that denied me the full manifestation of Christ Consciousness because I married and had kids, how many others might have the same? AND, more importantly, what else was within my memory storage keeping me from manifesting my goal?

With our minds, we might believe we know and understand fully what it means to live as The Christ Light, but we don’t achieve it if we have hidden programming limiting our Heart/Mind expansion.
 
 

 
The Universe ALWAYS provides, even when we think it does not.

EXAMPLE 1: I am living in the country 45 minutes from the closest grocery store, but I need to immediately re-balance the health of my body.

(I avoid using ‘medical labels’, for labels are harder to heal than ‘imbalance’ is. If we stumble, we know how to regain our balance, but if we are told we are ‘sick’ or have a ‘disease’, the horror factor can take over and prolong the problem due to the emotions surrounding it.)

I think/feel intensely with determination that I need 3 days of eating/drinking only green foods, but not yet forming a plan as to how or where to get them.

That NIGHT my husband shows up from the city with a huge bag he’d been gifted, full of greens---copious amounts of lettuce, chard, a little kale, and two kinds of parsley---along with a package I had ordered (15 day weeks ago!!)  with two bottles of chlorophyll in it as well as an herbal cleanse protocol.

EXACTLY at my moment of need arrives the food for a three day green cleanse and what else I required.

The Universe chooses the messengers and the delivery person for the event that represents “Call heard. Here is the response.”

For the doubting mind, it is easy to call it coincidence or create a ‘logical explanation’, but this a perfect example of cause/effect.

The cause was the need to restore the body to a balanced condition and thus the prayer request.
The effect was the arrival---without my having to go anywhere to get it---of exactly what I had asked for. This also included a friend who discovered my plight and immediately began very profound and effective healings on the vibrational level where all imbalances are first created.

If everything we experience is cause/effect, then one might ask specifically about the imbalanced condition. We tend to say, ‘What caused it?’ but truly it is an effect of a cause.

EXAMPLE 2: A new wave of energy poured over the planet recently, directly from the Heart and Mind of God. I wanted to be in resonance with this outpouring. I asked for my Christed Self to be more present and opened to the possibilities of new balance on all seven of my bodies.

This was the cause (referred to in Example 1) of what happened to my body: an asking, a prayer, a determination, a vision, an expected truth, a goal.

The effect of the asking took many forms. First was attending a world-wide midnight live-streaming meditation, after which the next morning I awakened with a condition I will not describe so I cannot program you into experiencing the same.

This condition, however, was the second effect of my asking for resonance. As I sought balance and harmony, all that was not of balance and harmony in my inner self began leaving through my skin:

• All the residue of stored sadness and grief and even hatred at ‘being human’
• All that did not resonate with the power of love and balance of light
• All that would keep me from moving forward in my knowing of myself as the creator of my kingdom-----that which is in the image and likeness of me.

I did not expect that when I asked for harmony, balance, and Christed expansion while linking into the flow of the Heart and Mind of God, that I would go through a difficult physical experience. Yet, as it unfolded, I began to recognize long ago despair, disappointment, and downward spiraling emotions literally being flushed from my cells. The cells could not be full of both balance and imbalance. If I wanted harmony, all that was stored within that was disharmony must be expelled.

We live our lives in a connected series of causes and their effects.

For me, setting deep intention for Christ expansion (cause) led to intense physical detox (effect) which created the intention for cleansing (cause) which brought about the free delivery of exactly what I needed (effect).

Our Universe is ALWAYS listening to us, for we are its creator. We emit; It responds. Psychic Email.

Are you a multi-tasker? One of those amazing people who can pay bills, listen to the radio, talk on the phone and pet the cat all at the same time? Visit with friends, dance a little, sing out loud, and not burn what’s in the oven? My hat is off to you all! The minute my mouth opens to speak, I must stop whatever it is I am doing, face the person, and have a conversation. No keyboarding….no onion chopping…no bill-paying…no video watching and definitely no cooking. My past history of scorched foods bears testament to that. (Thank goodness my Navy husband likes the smoky flavor!)

The recognition of my limitation came while engaged with a friend over a game of Sequence, which requires a relative amount of focused attention to play well. Each time she would speak to me, I had to stop what I was thinking or doing to answer. No multi-tasking in my head about which move to make next and all strategy formulations stalled immediately.
I had never noticed this about myself before, but this time it was front and center. WHY couldn’t I multitask? My friend could easily juggle 3-4 activities all at once and none of them suffered from lack of attention.

As I am always seeking the reason behind my actions and limitations, my subconscious is well-trained now to surrender up the answer as soon as I have entered the quest. Gratefully, this time was no different. I heard the subtle voice strains of my mother from long ago saying, “Stop what you are doing, and pay attention.”

Ah ha. The LAW-maker of my childhood had given me the command, and I was still following it! I absolutely always ‘stopped what I was doing’ to pay attention to whomever I was with:

• Stopped in the middle of the road if we were walking and I had to answer a question put to me
• Did NOT drive and carry on conversation at the same time or else I always forgot where I was on the road
• Looked up time and time again from my creative endeavors---be they fence building, video-making, or even cleaning---to answer my distractors.

So that explains The WHY of needing to work in silence and to be away from others while working---so no one can interrupt me and I don’t have to stop what I am doing to pay attention.

What to do about it? I shall re-imagine frequently my mother telling me, “I know you can hear me even if you keep doing what you are doing. You are so talented. One of the best multi-taskers I’ve ever known!”

So be it.

With our planet's entrance into the Aquarian age, the vestiges of patriarchal hierarchy---the power of will and authority generated from the mental body---will eventually dissolve into a matriarchal system generated from the Heart Song of the individual.

As a culture, we have been accustomed to the idea of 'climbing to the top', and that there is room only for 'ONE' at the top. Phrases like 'the best', 'the only', 'the cream of the crop', along with business paradigms of ONE executive above all others, bear witness to the idea that the many were excluded while the few were exalted. The traditional Egyptian pyramids with their pointed pinnacle have often been a symbol for that achievement: reaching the top.

While that symbology is excellent as a symbol of inner achievement---of connecting with one's greatest wisdom, it fails as a symbol for the success of the masses.

Procrastination Paradigm Shift...

Sitting in the hot tub on a cold, crispy country morning during a Paradigm Shifting Retreat, my friends and I were talking about the constant upkeep needed on old houses. “Have I got a story for you” beamed Sheila, the co-teacher of the workshop. “It is the perfect example for what you will be learning about this weekend.”

"Last month, while I was walking past our septic tank at our lake retreat, I noticed it smelled. I told my husband who said he would drop some ‘treatment’ in. He also reminded me that he knew he needed to fix the pipe that was crushed by workmen over a year ago.

"I asked why him why he hadn’t done so already and he told me he was waiting for a time when we weren't there for a while so the pipe would be dry on the inside.

“Sounds like a sturdy, reliable, wise answer, right? Except that we had not been there for about 8 months. So I asked him how long it took to dry. He said about a week or two!

Everyone in the tub laughed, probably remembering something like that in their own lives.

"Well, he went on to tell me he didn't want to do projects anymore but no one else could do it right and if all the pipes were brittle it would be a big job.

“OK, so he didn’t want to do it, but no one else could, either! Stalemate! That was the typical conversational exchange we had about things that needed repair in our 36 year old country lake house."

To my surprise, many heads nodded a sympathetic yes.

"The point is" Sheila continued, "that when a PATTERN of behavior emerges in our lives, that is the time to look for the paradigm or the habit patterns that are adversely influencing NOW.

“I have been an excavator of old thoughts and feelings that limit our NOW since my early twenties, and my wonderful husband has endured 25 years of mental/emotional weed pulling and paradigm shifting, but I’m sharing this one with all of you right now because it involved old reactions to women and teachers, both of which I am.

“I challenged my husband to explore his reticence for quick and effective repair on house issues. The small amount of light that had been in his eyes vanished, and he turned quiet. When I said to him that was not the reaction I would have had, he asked for an example of how I would respond. In the midst of my animated demonstration of ‘Yes, I want to be free of this feeling’, he realized that his reaction had been to retreat within.

“Using a technique you will learn, we found his retreating began when his school teacher made him stand with his nose touching the blackboard, inside a little circle drawn with white chalk. As a dyslexic 50 or so years before it was recognized in schools, he was simply thought to be stupid.  The woman, the teacher humiliated him in the midst of learning. All he could do was retreat within.

“I asked him to go farther back from that memory. He just laughed and said he probably has been a Muslim and that he had been told he would make a good one. I laughed but then he said six little words that revealed his procraastination paradigm: ‘I need to let this percolate’…the perfect way for him to try and avoid making any changes because it was a woman and a teacher who was guiding him in that moment.

“So I hope you can see from this example that even the small attitudes we harbor in life can come from past influences. I could have logically accepted all the reasons why my husband was right about putting off getting things repaired. This happened in the middle of winter, so why not wait until spring? Or summer? Or fall? Or next year when we might find someone qualified to do the work?”

Catching the sarcasm in her last question, I piped up, “The procrastination pattern was becoming dangerous to the healthy longevity of your house, your retreat. WHEN would the roof missing its shingles get repaired? WHEN would the drainage prevention happen? WHEN would the two year old deck get its needed railings? WHEN would you get a safe water system installed, right? It was the school year trauma and the residue from a former life that kept him from seeing the God within that helps create the right now. His sense of power was to prohibit and put off. You couldn’t have it done, but he wouldn’t do it either.”

“Exactly” Sheila said with a sincere smile. “Since the future is a nebulous 'sometime', NOW is our true moment of decisive action. Getting free of that old influence allowed my husband to not only move beyond the last vestiges of masculine superiority that conflicted with his heart’s true feeling of gender equality, but he could do so without feeling humiliated.